Point of View

“Hitch” – A Movie Review

A Playful Romp Through New York's Dating Scene
by Fred H. Arm

That former “Man In Black”, Will Smith, changes his MO and appears as Alex "Hitch" in a delightful romantic comedy as a publicity shy, yet formidable professional dating consultant known as the “Date Doctor”. His expensive clientele consisting of eligible Manhattan bachelors are taught such basics as that one communicates with his body language, posture, mood, and attitude about oneself. Nothing a man can say will impress a woman nearly as much as the nonverbal messages she receives. So, stand up straight, my fat friend and stop slouching around as if your tummy can be hidden in the shadows.

In the dog eat dog world of New York romances, where destinies are decided in an instant, the common “Lonely Guy” is in desperate need of skilled counseling and Hitch is just the man you need. He understands women. He knows how to get their attention, how to seem heroic in their eyes, what to say, and definitely what not to say.

For one of Hitch’s clients, Albert (Kevin James), the romantic quarry seems hopelessly beyond his reach. Albert is in love with a rich, powerful, and beautiful Allegra (Amber Valletta), who surely would not consider dating a shy and pudgy accountant like him. Or would she? At a board meeting, Allegra is being advised on how to spend her money by the stodgy board members. Albert is outraged by the investment advice she is being given, and in a splendid dramatic splash, he tells them off and resigns. That definitely gets her attention. She is quite touched that Albert would care so much about her investments.

But then how can the simple Albert follow up? He is one of those guys whose shirts seem to come back from the laundry with the ketchup stains already there. Ergo, Hitch has his work cut out for him as he desperately works to smooth out his act, clean him up, and give him some class.

Meanwhile, Hitch’s own romantic life is badly in need of some major repair. He falls in love with a stunning Latina, Sara (Eva Mendes), who is not only smart and cynical; she is also secretly keen on exposing the “Date Doctor” as a charlatan in her assignment writing for a gossip column. None of his own expert advice seems to work for Hitch. Perhaps in that delicate game of romantic chess the wily Sara can see many moves ahead, possibly because (can this be likely?), he is blowing it and losing his cool by trying too hard.

"Hitch," you will have perceived, is not a great cinematic breakthrough, yet it is smart, witty and a whole lot of fun. Sara as a stunning brunette is not quite as unapproachable as she seems. Nevertheless, Sara is a real challenge, portrayed as the kind of woman who seems more desirable the more she seems unattainable.

The premise is intriguing and playful, and for a time it seems that the Date Doctor may indeed know a lot of things about women that most men generally overlook or are ignorant of. The dialogue is smart, witty, and generates many a knowing laugh. The ending is predicable and formulaic, however it leaves one feeling good. Isn’t that what going to the movies is all about? If you like to laugh, feel good, and vicariously follow the chic single New York urban scene through its stumbles, hurtles, and games, you will love this film.

The Railroad Horn Blasts – An Affront Upon Our Senses

Quiet Zones Will Only Partially Halt The Attack Upon Our Well-Being
By Fred H. Arm

We have often heard the plaintive wail of a Burlington Northern Santa Fe (BNSF) or the Richmond Pacific Railroad (RPR) locomotive announce its presence throughout Southern Richmond. Every day the egregious cacophony awakens us from a deep slumber at all hours of the night. Sometimes we just cannot get back to sleep. On top of the horn noise, the clanging of the crossing bells and the reluctant traffic is immobilized, not simply to let a train pass on its way to a far-off destination, rather the thunderous beast basically stops a few hundred feet past the crossing to allow some unseen hand to switch the tracks behind and finally backs up the way it came.

One of the crossings at West Richmond Avenue was formerly a legitimate passage of the trains to the Ferry Point to transport rail cars to a waiting train ferry. Now it is nothing more than a switching station. The rail ferries have ceased to exist years ago. Today the thunderous rail traffic has increased many fold when compared to the years when Richmond had its fragile beginnings.

The citizens of Richmond blithely go about their day simply muttering their discontent as they wait dozens of times each day for the wretched processions to conclude their operation and to subject their delicate hearing to imminent impairment by the piercing train horns. Thousands of man-hours are wasted every day waiting up to ten minutes or longer for the roads to clear. In the Marina area, the RPR blasts its 106-decibel horn all night long while merely going back and forth switching their freight cars, hardly ever making an actual crossing. The damage to people’s health and well being by the continual sleep disturbance is almost impossible to measure.

It is incomprehensible in this age of consciousness about noise pollution and traffic obstruction that we allow this anomaly to continue. Residents around airports have many years ago litigated all the way to the United States Supreme Court to collect damages for the excessive noise they must endure and have gained concessions from the airport authorities as well to help abate the noise.

At last the Federal Railroad Authority (FRA) has promulgated new regulations to allow cities and towns to create “quiet zones” that will be free from horn blasting at crossings. Assistant City Attorney, Wayne S. Nishioka, has been hard at work preparing the necessary documents and assessing what will be needed at each crossing to earn the designation of a “quiet zone”. Under the assiduous prompting of Marina Bay resident, Dr. Louis Hagler, the process appears to be nearing fruition. Once the FRA representative comes to town to assist us in making the final assessments on what is needed, it is a fairly quick and easy process to ultimately end this noisy curse of Point Richmond. It would appear that your cries and anguish were finally heeded.

In the interim, we face the continuing auditory assault by the engineers of the RPR during their switching operations. By RPR’s own admission, the volume of their business, and the amount of switching they will do, is expected to increase dramatically. It appears that they are unwilling to change their noisy and offensive behavior despite perfectly acceptable alternatives that have been offered by the FRA, the California Public Utilities Commission, and the Richmond City Council. However, the regs. are silent as to how to address the noisy train horns at switching yards that do not cross public roads. Fortunately, there are still federal, state, and local statutes that deal with noise pollution from loud sources and can be litigated civilly and criminally as nuisances.

Some time ago, at the behest of Dr. Hagler, over 200 of you citizens signed a petition confirming your desire to eliminate unnecessary train noise from your neighborhoods. Dr. Hagler proposes that we establish a group that will seek redress through the courts or settlement. We could call the group "Citizens for Peaceful Neighborhoods" or "Ban Railroad Noise Pollution" or "Stop Unnecessary Noise", or some such thing. Perhaps someone could offer a better suggestion for a name. In any event, we are asking for your support for such an effort. You do not have to do anything, to contribute any money, or to be involved in any way other than indicate that you are in favor of bringing to an end as much unwarranted train noise as possible.

Do any of you have any further thoughts on the subject? Does anyone have any knowledge of how the Railroad was given the authority to obstruct our streets and wreak havoc on our eardrums? Both Dr. Hagler and I would appreciate hearing from you. Louis Hagler email is Louishagler@aol.com and my address is fha@bigfoot.com